life:filtered

…learning to live a life filtered by the truth of the gospel.

callings August 27, 2015

Filed under: musings,seriousness — Stephanie @ 1:00 am
Tags: , , , ,

I’ve never truly admitted to myself that I want to be a writer. But I do. I want to be a writer. And maybe I already am. But I hesitate to apply the term to myself. I always say, “I write.” Not “I’m a writer.” Maybe because it sounds too arrogant or too grandiose or something like that. Maybe I’m not brave enough to call myself out like that. It’s a pretty loaded statement. There’s no turning back once you declare something like that. You’re either all in or not. To me, it feels like there’s no halfway to it. Oh wait, I lied. I’m not a writer after all.

The truth is though, I feel like I’m called to be a writer. I honestly believe that God has gifted and called me to write the same way he calls some to preach and others to serve. And that sounds conceited to my ears. Do I even have the courage to agree with him? Can I allow him to make that claim on my life? Where do I take this call? But God lays claim on everyone’s life…and I guess, no, I know, that this is his on mine. It has been mine since I can remember, even when being a writer was just a childhood dream. And then in high school, people started telling me I was a good writer. But I didn’t believe them, not really. I doubted myself then as I doubt myself now. I question not only my call, but my ability. No matter how many times I’m told that I’m a good writer, I still question it.

And why write? What is so important about words that God would call some to be writers? In the Bible (words), God calls Jesus the Word made flesh. God used words to make his truth known throughout the history of Israel. He inspired Moses to write down the history of creation and slavery and freedom. Without those words, we’d likely know nothing about our God and our heritage. The songs of praise and adoration from David and the other Psalmists. And look at Paul’s letters. He used words to express God’s truth to the gentiles. Words are everywhere. And I think God calls some of to write his truth still—through non-fiction and fiction, because truth is everywhere if you look for it.

So here I stand with a call, pondering my next move. If I agree with God and say I’m a writer, then I’ve got to write. And writing is hard. Sometimes words flow and sometimes it’s like dragging them out of hell. But God never said it would be easy, he just said to do it. So I am trying. Trying to write, but more than that, trying to be faithful.



©stephanie g. pepper

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5 Responses to “callings”

  1. Joy Gooding Says:

    Yea!

    Sent from my iPad

    >

    Like

  2. Larry Gooding Says:

    You are admitting what we have all known for a long time. I thought you would be another Erma
    Bombeck but you have a greater message.

    Like

  3. Denise Says:

    I love reading your posts. No matter what the subject is, you make it interesting. Along with many others, I also believe you are a gifted writer. There is a reason you’ve been given that specific gift..God will show you one day…

    Like

  4. Teresa Says:

    I too struggled to call myself a writer. I used to want to be published, but now, I just want to write and not worry about all the logistics. That is up to God. If you write words that minister to others you are a writer. You write lovely words.

    Like


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