life:filtered

…learning to live a life filtered by the truth of the gospel.

something important June 29, 2013

Filed under: seriousness — Stephanie @ 6:39 pm
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“Be comforted, dear soul! There is always light behind the clouds.” –Louisa May Alcott


Statistically speaking, for a personal blog with a small reach, my post on depression generated a good deal of response. Some public, some private but all expressing gratitude and solidarity.


And so I feel compelled to say this: if you or someone you love is experiencing symptoms of depression, please get help.


Like, yesterday.


There’s no shame in this illness because that’s what it is—an illness. Not a character flaw. We have to shatter the stigma of mental illness our society still clings to. And we can do that when regular people find a little bit of ordinary brave, refuse to hide and step out of the shadows.


Because a thing loses its power in the light.


Find the right meds.


And a good counselor.


And for heaven’s sake, let’s quit adding our own shame and guilt to the misery.


For resources and information regarding depression and other mental illness, visit the National Alliance on Mental Illness here.

 

on being wrong June 14, 2013

Filed under: musings — Stephanie @ 9:48 pm
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It’s not the first time I’ve been wrong about high school. I carried a lot of baggage around those days. But one thing I’ve carried around for all these years became a fragment of my identity. A partial definition of me. It lay in my soul like a stone at the bottom of a quiet stream; always there though the disturbance from its entrance had long since ceased. I was so sure that my perception of events was the right one that I banished all thoughts of any other possibility. (Though I had no confidence in myself, I had every confidence that the rest of the world only wanted to hurt me.) And so I nursed that grievance; held it close and sheltered it from the light until it became not a small stone but a boulder that disrupted the flow of my heart.


But I was wrong.


So here I am as the paradigm of my universe shifts around me like so much sand. What I thought of as true isn’t true at all and history has somehow altered its reality. And this grudge I’ve held these 20 years dissolved into dust in a conversation. A friendship reinstated and at least a slice of high school redeemed. And how many other things have I been wrong about?


I was wrong. And I’m glad I was wrong.


And I’m glad that, for once, I found this little bit of hidden brave and raised that stone up into the light. An Ebenezer.


There’s grace in this, people.


© stephanie g pepper, 2013